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I have a fiancée whom we have dated for 6 years 3 months. I really love this girl and she claims to love me too. We arranged to get married early January 2009. All the marriage arrangements have been made. I discovered this April that she had been having an affair for the past 2 years in school. She has been sending and receiving love messages to this guy. Since the day I discovered it, I’m have been finding it difficult to forget about it even though she apologized. I’m having feelings that she is still keeping the affair or maybe having other affairs. She still keeps the phone number of this guy. I’m thinking of quitting his relationship. Memories of she is unfaithful of fooling me keep hunting me. How do I approach this? I’m finding difficult to believe that she still love me. I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for your concern to help.

Raju

Dear Raju    

Trust is the foundation of healthy interpersonal relationship. Try to resolve your doubts through frank discussions with her. Explain her, what keeps on worsening your doubts. Understanding at both ends can resolve this successfully.

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I have a relationship with a girl for about three months (not sexual). Both of us are in love but the problem is that we became friends through chatting and a few days ago I saw her picture, she looks too young and although she says that she is 18 but she looks like a 12 year old. And one is for sure, she is very immature! I’m sure she’s not lying but still she looks very young to me. I don’t feel good about it! I think I’m not of her age, but I don’t want to hurt her too. Now I have exams from tomorrow and I can’t stop thinking about her. I can’t even study properly like I used to, my grades are affected very badly. I can’t prepare myself for my finals. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I told her that I’m going to turn off my cell, then after an hour I turn it back on! Please help

Manbha

Dear Manbha    

Once you have an emotional attachment with each other, you cannot back off without hurting her. You should have exchanged your photographs early in the relationship. Now that you want to concentrate on your exams, it is going to be difficult while you are emotionally disturbed. Do not take any step (like switching off your mobile) until your exams gets over, then after you take your final decision.

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Hello, my question is that I had a huge fight with my best friend and we just ended our friendship because our family. They don’t like that we talk to each other, my best friend is a girl. Now I don’t know what to do. I really need her and today I am feeling very alone.

Sunita

Dear Sunita

Here first you need to set your priority about whom  you wish to please your family or your friend, also you need to have clarity in your mind about your feelings and relation that you are in or expecting it to turn in future based on which you can decide to continue or not. Also about feeling lonely, it is a natural reaction which can be felt by anyone under such circumstance and only time will be able to heal that.